We all know that brands must always discover new ways to connect with their consumers. According to the report from The American Express 2011 Luxury Summit, that includes responding to their most important needs: “…engage intelligent, loyal, family-oriented salespeople; focus on consistency, not just customized service; and use multiple channels of communication that are consistent with the character of the brand.”

Oh, is that all?

Empathy is a much misunderstood trait, not only in marketing terms, but in life in general. Members of the “Me” generation don’t have a clue. The deeper that you get into the luxury space, the more unlikely it is that you will find consumers who understand the basic concept of empathy. I know that when my kids were born, my wife and I had long conversations about the kind of people we wanted them to become. Right after happy, confident and secure in their skin came empathy. We wanted to raise kids who understood the plight of others and who could understand and share the feelings of others. (I’ll let you know how we did in a few more years).

To most marketers who have spent their career in the luxury space, the concept of empathy will ring hollow and foreign.

Now Amex claims that “there are many ways that we can stimulate the buying impulse by creating products that connect empathetically with consumers’ lives.”  They advise us to create “authentic magic moments” for brands to connect with the consumer.

No easy task.

Start by asking yourself if you even know what empathy is. Once you get past that, challenge yourself to enumerate the things that you feel empathy for. Now, as a marketer, look at your consumer and identify the places and the messages that will allow the affluent spender today to find, and feel the points of connection.

Laura Robin, Director of Strategy and Research for BMW Group DesignworksUSA, is quoted as emphasizing the importance of genuine connection: “choose empathy over statistics” she says, and “have a deep dialogue with consumers.”

Based on the success of the BMW Brand, that’s probably a pretty good model to follow. So if you haven’t done so already, it’s time to put on your empathy hat – even if it doesn’t seem to fit right away.